Lessons learnt... working with SEN kids

During a special period of my life in London, I had the privilege of assisting children of all ages, genders, and ethnicities in schools. Some of these children had special needs, while others were typically developing. I particularly focused on working with children affected by autism as well as those with socio-emotional and behavioral disorders. Throughout this experience, I learned more from these children than I could have from a well-educated adult because there are many ways to learn, and some leave a more profound impact.

Here’s what I learned while working with children with special needs:

1. Every child with special needs is special in their own way. One of the first lessons I learned while working with these children is how incredibly different they are from one another. Adapting my approach to suit each child's individual needs and personality was not an easy task. While tools, toys, routines, and certain rituals are commonly used with autistic children, the way I applied them varied from one child to another. Children with special needs cannot be “standardized” like typically developing children; they should not be viewed as mere numbers on a teacher's register. Each teacher typically has a maximum of 5 to 6 students, allowing them to understand each child thoroughly. This represents personalized education at its highest potential, which could serve as an inspiration for traditional education.

2. There are countless ways to communicate. With a typical child, communication is often verbal or non-verbal. However, when working with children with Special Educational Needs (SEN), you discover many unconventional methods of communication. It’s important to learn how to model or combine these approaches based on each child's unique needs and preferred communication style. I had the opportunity to assist a deeply autistic child for three weeks. The first two weeks were focused on building a bond and earning his trust before we could begin working together. This process involved what is known as “intense interaction.” Essentially, I spent time each day observing him and imitating his movements. This "mirroring" technique was crucial for developing a deeper connection and the trust necessary to collaborate on his tasks. Working with these children can lead to truly special moments that are often unlike anything experienced with typical children, unless one is a parent.

3. Hidden disabilities can be more challenging than visible ones. I have worked with many children who had visible disabilities, such as those in wheelchairs, with facial or bodily differences, or with behaviors that clearly indicated a disability. However, I also worked extensively with Marcus, a child who appeared perfectly normal. In fact, he seemed so typical that I often questioned why he attended a school for children with special needs.Marcus was a lively, curious, and exceptionally intelligent child. I had the privilege of assisting him for several weeks and getting to know him well. Over time, I noticed that Marcus struggled to integrate with his classmates, primarily because his disability was hidden and more subtle. He exhibited nearly imperceptible traits of autism, such as fixating on specific games and activities where his performance was outstanding. His excessive energy sometimes unsettled the other children. Although Marcus was as close to a "typical" child as possible, he was profoundly misunderstood and often felt lonely.

4. Unconditional love is probably the most important lesson I've learned. I will be completely honest: some children with special educational needs (SEN), particularly those with socio-emotional disorders, can be very challenging to work with. I have encountered children who have bitten me, pulled my hair, and kicked me, as well as others who showed little interest in listening to me. In one school, I worked with a girl who experienced seizures during which she would start biting anyone nearby. I witnessed children being taken to the hospital because of her episodes, and her parents had to come to take her home once again. Children with special needs can seem far from the "ideal" child that some parents envision, and this is precisely why they can teach us about unconditional love. With a typical child, parents often project their dreams, desires, and ambitions onto them, sometimes hoping their children will achieve what they themselves could not. However, this kind of projection is much more challenging when dealing with a child with special needs, who may not meet the conventional expectations that parents have. Consequently, children with special needs can teach us about love without conditions.

*The name of the child has been changed for privacy.