''To fit in or not to fit in'' - Part 1

Suddenly, the master noticed a vacant look on the young apprentice's face, followed by a strange, satisfied grin. It became clear to the master that his student was no longer listening, so he fell silent.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" the master asked.

"No, master, it's just... a thought I've had for days," the student replied.

"Tell me," the master encouraged. "No thought comes without reason, and perhaps I can guide you to see things more clearly."

"Well, I've been trying to make friends with some kids in my neighbourhood, and finally this week they invited me to spend time with them. Yet now that it's happened, I feel that I no longer want to be with them, and I don't know why."

"I don't understand; maybe my need for acceptance from them was misguided?" the student asked.

The master smiled. "I don't think so. As human beings, we have fundamental needs, and we act to fulfil them. One of these needs is to be social, to be accepted and loved by others, and to feel worthy. You experienced a completely natural need and took steps to fulfil it."

"Sure, I watched those kids play in the yard from my window for months, and for months I wanted nothing more than to join them. So why do I feel this way now? Is my current feeling wrong?" the student inquired.

The master smiled again. "Once more, you're trying to assign a right or wrong value to your instincts and feelings. There is no right or wrong. Emotions, intuition, and needs guide us toward our true selves. We genuinely want to fulfil our soul's dreams and express our true selves. However, sometimes this desire clashes with our ability to meet our deep needs."

"See," the master continued, "do you feel you can truly be yourself when you are with these boys?"

The student paused to reflect. "Well, actually, sometimes we do activities I don't enjoy, and we don't always share the same perspective on things. Still, I try to adapt and not let them know that I see things differently."

"You see," said the master, "you have been driven by your fundamental need to be part of a group, but the cost has been too high for your soul. It's all about balance, my boy. Your need for acceptance must be balanced with your desire to be who you really are."

"The next time you are with these boys, try to be completely yourself. Suggest your favourite activities to them and share your perspective on the world. Observe how they react. If they accept you, then you will have found your true friends."

"And what if they don't?" the master asked hesitantly.